REPOST: Part Four 🌼 My journey to become a Mum. ________ Seeing Esmae's heart beat on that screen changed everything for us. We left the hospital in a complete daze(Steve almost walked into a pole). From then on we started to imagine what this baby would look like, what gender we would have and how big my bump would end up getting(I was one of those women that thought I wouldn't show... I was wrong, but I'll get back to that later!). ________ The idea of being 5 weeks and 6 days and getting to our dating scan felt so far away to me and the thought of not knowing how she was growing was a huge anxiety issue that I tried my best to contain. Due to my history, I didn't want to tell anyone until we'd got to the dating scan and knew that our little one was growing okay. ________ At 8 weeks pregnant I was booking into an early scan after experiencing pain and bleeding like I did with BB and my other baby in the stars. Once again, my heart lept seeing that heart beat on the screen - the little blob shape now looked more like a kidney bean. This emergency scan was followed by another at 10 weeks for the same reason and this time our little bean actually looked like a tiny tiny baby. I was told to rest up and not over do things. ________ I rested as much as I could, started drinking healthy drinks, sorted my diet out and forced myself to go for walks. It was hard but I knew it was all worth it to raise the chances of her getting everything she needed to keep on growing! ________ Our dating scan was suddenly upon us and just like the previous scans, so were my worries and expectations. For the fourth time, they turned that screen on and showed us our little Esmae. She now looked so much like a little baby and she wriggled and danced to show us how strong she already was. Another moment that I will never forget. ________ On July 3rd 2018, we announced our new journey to the world. ________ "Until now it's been us two, & we've been as happy as can be... But we will soon be welcoming, our member number 3." ________ End of Part Four. 🌼 _______________________________________ #firsttimemum #parents #earlypregnancy #baby #pregnant #rainbowbaby #recurrentmiscarriage