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And the days that followed my miscarriage were dark. Then the weeks became fog, I would like to say that the fog also lifted but it doesn’t really, you just turn your torch on and learn how to navigate the road onwards. People try to say the “right thing” when you explain. When you swallow the lump in your throat to explain that there was a baby and now there isn’t. That you had two hearts and now you only have one and it’s broken. I had people say “at least you had a taste of being pregnant” and “about peanut size..” and “you’re young, try again”. The thing about miscarriage is that there is no answer usually as to why. And even if you do know why you’ll never know why the universe had to allow it to happen to you, to your baby, your body. Miscarriage robs you of the future you had in your hand before it was snatched away, that hurts whether you are 4 weeks, 9 weeks, 18 weeks and on. I wrote my bunny a letter the night before my procedure. One last night with you, that’s all I get. But even then i know you’re already gone. I wasn’t ready for you to go, but the universe had already taken you away. I ache for a little life I never knew, but truly love, my soul is broken without you. You were already so loved and so wanted and I already miss you so much. I toss and I turn and I wonder what I did to have you taken from me. I am angry at myself for even one second being naive enough to think that we would be allowed to be together and happy. I talked to you and prayed for you every day. I realise now if prayers and love were enough you would be here my little darling. You had people lining up to hold you, guide you and be with you in this world sweetheart. You were already so loved and wanted, but its not up to us. I don’t understand I probably never will. I wonder if there is a little person in someone else’s belly, playground or classroom who will go through life searching for their soul mate only to discover that you wont be coming because you were taken before you got a real chance. (Continue in comments)