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This is hard. I pride myself on being an open book. I pride myself on making sure my story is heard because I know I can’t be alone. Somewhere, there’s a woman or a couple who has experienced this and feels like they’ve got nowhere to turn. But you do, my friend. You do. • On May 20th, the day my dreaded period was due, we got a positive pregnancy test and had it confirmed by my doctor the same day - we also had blood tests done twice that week to make sure my levels were rising appropriately (they were, yay!). We scheduled our 8wk ultrasound and eagerly waited, feeling every bit of morning sickness, exhaustion, almost unbearably sore breasts, and all of the other amazing things we’ve been waiting for and dying to experience ourselves for so long. When the time came for our 8wk ultrasound, we were shocked and confused to see a developing gestational sac... with absolutely nothing inside. They told me it was probably a blighted ovum, but that we’d do blood tests and another ultrasound to confirm further. That was June 20, my follow-up ultrasound was July 1. My hormone levels remained normal for how far along I was, but the sac was still empty and my body isn’t passing it on its own. I was still having symptoms because the sac was still there, producing the hormones, so I was (am) constantly reminded of a baby that will never come to be. Yesterday, I had to have a D&C to help clear everything from my uterus. I’m sore. I’m a bit woozy. I’m sad. I’m scared. I’m... empty. It was our choice to move forward with the D&C, rather than waiting longer for my body to pass it naturally. I felt the trauma would be easier to cope with if I didn’t have to do it myself, and we weren’t willing to have me hospitalized if anything went south while the sac was still in there. I still don’t know if it was the right decision, but I am grateful to have had the choice to decide what to do with my own body. It’s a shitty feeling, not being able to trust your own body. This is an absolute nightmare and I can’t believe my body would play such a cruel trick on us. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. ** continued in comments